The burning is intense. Taking the light through the centers is unbearable. My heart is beating twice as fast a normal. My hands burn and sweat, as do the backs of my arms and legs. I take off every piece of clothing I can and still remain decent. This is the end of the processes.
I had come into the day thinking: "Great! I have something to share. I am seeing the resolution of Resistance, the theme that I started with. I was with family, spiritual family. All was well."
Then came the gift that was poison. The "knowing better" dressed up as "treat" - gooey chocolate (now that I come to think of it, it was dry and hard) chocolate cake.
Why is that we give one another a "toxic mimic", a replacement for the real love we truly desire, giving in the form of surprise birthday dinners ("I ate so much I felt like throwing up!") presents whose wrappers get thrown on the garbage heap and which we really don't need as a "token" of our love?" Why can't we give one another a tender touch, a loving embrace, attention, time and compassion?
I wonder if it's the cake? I can't concentrate. I want to crawl into a fetal ball and disappear. I want to not feel this. What seemed so promising and exciting is now my worst nightmare.
"Rest in the Throne of your Heart " the voice is saying. This feeling is so frightening, so overwhelming: His anger and sadness, the other's indifference to me. Someone else ignoring me completely with a hand out and finger shushing me, passing me by without a glance.
It's all about me at this instant
It's always about me
Me playing small
My heart beating fast
Passing me by for a more promising younger sexier version
All with its promises and pain.
My heart is afraid, tired from all the promises held out to me in the form of gratification: cake, relationship's that are not good for me.
I get excited and then I get so scared! So overwhelmed, like my heart is jumping out of my chest. So I do the next smart thing and ask for support.
He says: "The heart is the healer, rest in your Inner Garden." And now the tears are streaming down my face. How could he know that my mother's dying words were" In the garden: I'll meet you there." He says, "In the Spun Bud of the Heart is a Place of Peace."
He asks me what takes me there? I say that I have had a picture of my Guru who initiated me hiding behind a picture of Amma. Every once in a while he peaks out. I put him at the foot of my bed on my alter. I heard in my yoga studies that your Guru can intervene for you and is the promise of your initiation to guide you through troubles waters and to meet you when you cross over the bridge to the next life.
I pray to him: I do 108 rounds of Om Guruji Namaha" and by the end of that I am usually asleep or at peace.
I first met Daviananda Saraswati Maharaj whilst staying at the Optimum Health Institute in Lemon Grove in 1998. He was the penultimate Guru. I laughed as I went up for Darshan. If ever there was going to be a Guru for me, he was it. He was stunningly beautiful. So COOL!!!
"Guruji" as he liked to be called, was known as The Swami From the Himalayas". He did austerities like standing in ice-cold water, living in a cave and mediating for many years. Before that he was involved in the Gandhi Peace Movement. He must have been in his 70's when I met him. He gave me the name Adya Devi, which means the feminine principle of the Universe that always was and always will be - eternal everlasting MA!
I am here with a Benevolent Aide to my aching, burning heart who he tells me, "Do that then. And go slow and be COOL."
Cool to me is not being glamorous. It's being in the trenches of your heart and feeling all of it. It is being willing to allow the pain and let the fire transform you. I am game, so I am going with this.
"If you see something painful and anguishing to the heart, why do keep taking it up?" He asks. "Pick a symbol that is cool instead. "Take the Tarot card Temperance and contemplate it. The mind cannot follow the emotions. The emotions are too quick for the mind. Symbolism speaks directly to the heart in a language that it understands. The root languages take us deep into Nature where the English language can only scratch the surface.
Explore the cool, take it slow and be wiling is all that's asked
The Story of the Chickpea
The chickpea jumps to the top edge of the pot and says:
"I am burning!" The cook swats him down again with his ladle.
He says" you are simmering.
You are mixing with spice and seasoning.
Have you forgotten the Garden where you drank the spring rains
Where you where nurtured in the belly of Earth?
That was for this is for
To become a nourishing meal
For the Beloved."
Something like that.
To be Picked by the Beloved for the Transformative Body of Love.
Come Back to the Heart
Rest There
Be cool
Be Yourself,
Take Repose in
The Heart of Hearts
There is Nothing to do
Just the subtlest movement
The Tenderest Touch
Neither This nor That
No doing of any kind
Breathing in and breathing out
Composed ….Cool
Simmering, Soft, Allowing
Letting myself be held in
The Arms of The Beloved
MG 26 Oct 2009
After Workshop week
With Sarman and Devi Tide
Monday, October 26, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
The Only Way Out Is In
We can all be forceful with who and what we think we are. When one is weak one over uses that distinction in order to feel a sense of power over the other. Some are so focused on themselves that they do not see the other at all. Others talk about the other as themselves.
Thoughts exist outside the body. They move like energy force fields looking for a way into the mind, which exists only in relationship to the heart. The command center is the brain which sorts and delivers sensory messages but the known universe, if “felt” by the senses, is then interpreted in the brain. The heart acts like a connector to soul. All of these ideas or concepts such as heart, mind, soul exist outside the body “reader.”The body is a device that records and reads the data sensory information that comes to it from the outside.
So what comes from the inside? And where exactly is in? Who and what are we really?
If one were to choose, which the brain does in a millisecond, what and where one where to put ones focus and attention (as the brain will expand up to 50% when the information comes into it and choose according to focus the 10% that is perceived) on what the hearts’ command is, there would be as many interpretations of these questions as there are grains of sand on a beach. In order for there to be some comprehension and cohesiveness to a world, one would have to imagine a world that isn’t going to die. One would have to see one’s life as a mission that goes backwards and forwards in time. One would have to see a way outta here!
The only way out is in.
Thoughts exist outside the body. They move like energy force fields looking for a way into the mind, which exists only in relationship to the heart. The command center is the brain which sorts and delivers sensory messages but the known universe, if “felt” by the senses, is then interpreted in the brain. The heart acts like a connector to soul. All of these ideas or concepts such as heart, mind, soul exist outside the body “reader.”The body is a device that records and reads the data sensory information that comes to it from the outside.
So what comes from the inside? And where exactly is in? Who and what are we really?
If one were to choose, which the brain does in a millisecond, what and where one where to put ones focus and attention (as the brain will expand up to 50% when the information comes into it and choose according to focus the 10% that is perceived) on what the hearts’ command is, there would be as many interpretations of these questions as there are grains of sand on a beach. In order for there to be some comprehension and cohesiveness to a world, one would have to imagine a world that isn’t going to die. One would have to see one’s life as a mission that goes backwards and forwards in time. One would have to see a way outta here!
The only way out is in.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Beyond Physics
After hearing Dr. Bruce Lipton at the NZ Chiropactic College 11 March, 2009
Everything is seeking to describe itself. To recognize itself. To Be itself.
Wherever you focus your attention there you are. You are focusing now on being present to creating an environment of love. Yet there is “not love” staring you in the face. You don’t like what you see, so you are constantly judging it, versus sitting with it until it shares its meaning and story with you. The outside dimension is constantly chattering and explaining: even writing books and giving lectures on how it is. Really there is only the experience of how it is with signs and symbols pointing the way, back to itself. The only doing is to step into IT.
There have been so many ideas, endless ideas, of what life is. This seems to be a function of the human mind: to explain everything. Nothing stays the same: everything is energy and everything is changing and moving. So what gives life its cohesiveness? The structure. Yet the structures cannot be seen with the naked eye. In fact, quantum physics says at the smallest microscopic level there is nothing! NO Structure. Yet we know that consciousness is happening at this moment and that we are but infinitesimal cells in the body of this consciousness. Some thing is happening.
Coming from the place where consciousness is embodied within a structure called a "Human Being" we see that this human being is the instrument of the consciousness that created it: that the human being accesses instructions internally, not from the brain but, from the energy itself, beyond the brain, in which it is vibrationally bathing in..
A whole organic life, a holistic world cosmos, necessitates we attune to ourselves, one another and our communities to bring forward the dream we've had since the beginning: the dream of life everlasting.
How do we communicate and how do we listen to one another? I get small in order to listen. I look out and what is reflected back to me is the playing out of my dream. I cannot dream this alone. I am not able to pop through the dream until you join me. Will you join me or will you continue to separate yourself from me with our judgments and your thoughts?
As we say "we are One", let’s dream this worldwide grid of humanity stretching like a web of pearly lights around the world. Let's beacon our "positive attractors", our loving thoughts, towards one another and for one another. Let’s see what other parts of the picture can emerge as we hold one another’s hand.
Everything is seeking to describe itself. To recognize itself. To Be itself.
Wherever you focus your attention there you are. You are focusing now on being present to creating an environment of love. Yet there is “not love” staring you in the face. You don’t like what you see, so you are constantly judging it, versus sitting with it until it shares its meaning and story with you. The outside dimension is constantly chattering and explaining: even writing books and giving lectures on how it is. Really there is only the experience of how it is with signs and symbols pointing the way, back to itself. The only doing is to step into IT.
There have been so many ideas, endless ideas, of what life is. This seems to be a function of the human mind: to explain everything. Nothing stays the same: everything is energy and everything is changing and moving. So what gives life its cohesiveness? The structure. Yet the structures cannot be seen with the naked eye. In fact, quantum physics says at the smallest microscopic level there is nothing! NO Structure. Yet we know that consciousness is happening at this moment and that we are but infinitesimal cells in the body of this consciousness. Some thing is happening.
Coming from the place where consciousness is embodied within a structure called a "Human Being" we see that this human being is the instrument of the consciousness that created it: that the human being accesses instructions internally, not from the brain but, from the energy itself, beyond the brain, in which it is vibrationally bathing in..
A whole organic life, a holistic world cosmos, necessitates we attune to ourselves, one another and our communities to bring forward the dream we've had since the beginning: the dream of life everlasting.
How do we communicate and how do we listen to one another? I get small in order to listen. I look out and what is reflected back to me is the playing out of my dream. I cannot dream this alone. I am not able to pop through the dream until you join me. Will you join me or will you continue to separate yourself from me with our judgments and your thoughts?
As we say "we are One", let’s dream this worldwide grid of humanity stretching like a web of pearly lights around the world. Let's beacon our "positive attractors", our loving thoughts, towards one another and for one another. Let’s see what other parts of the picture can emerge as we hold one another’s hand.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Soulful Lifetime
We chose to come into this life for the sake of embodiment and the realization of unlimited consciousness. We are choosing to come in for a Soulful Lifetime: not to be perfect but to be full of soul. There are many differing aspect of what you would call “God” that point to the physical expression but in reality we are mostly vibration.
There’s only One of Us but we express as a whole group to do something special.We are continuously born into soul groups or lineages in order to sharpen our remembering, reconstituting consciousness as we pass through life times. Like a waterfall over flowing with joy. In this state you don’t have to leave or come back. Happy and full of joy. Happy to go and happy to return. They wait for you on the other side of the bridge with out stretched arms. It’s only a little trick. a short experience.
These bodies are husks, shells, virtual reality suits. The connections between this life and the next are merely like going onto the computer and playing a game creating the scenery, the environments, the bodies change, the costuming changes remembering, calling back the parts of ourselves we loose from one life to the next. We create these realms we call “Life Times” in order to sharpen our spirit, our consciousness, to remember itself, its essence, its energy of light and single purpose in order to get used to it and to embody it in this denser reality.
When you carry a high degree of vibration you need protection. That is why I have a guard in the life time of the Druids. That is why you are born into these different bodies with different protections and layering. The game is in the varying degrees of success by virtue of the choices we make to live out of those choices. No right or wrong. Pause and reflect when you make a choice. Breath.
It's our judgments that separate us from one another.
What if we were loved for just who we are and who we are not? Just loved.
(This is half of a past life regression where I was remembering being a healer taught & protected by the Druids 18 Feb 2009)
There’s only One of Us but we express as a whole group to do something special.We are continuously born into soul groups or lineages in order to sharpen our remembering, reconstituting consciousness as we pass through life times. Like a waterfall over flowing with joy. In this state you don’t have to leave or come back. Happy and full of joy. Happy to go and happy to return. They wait for you on the other side of the bridge with out stretched arms. It’s only a little trick. a short experience.
These bodies are husks, shells, virtual reality suits. The connections between this life and the next are merely like going onto the computer and playing a game creating the scenery, the environments, the bodies change, the costuming changes remembering, calling back the parts of ourselves we loose from one life to the next. We create these realms we call “Life Times” in order to sharpen our spirit, our consciousness, to remember itself, its essence, its energy of light and single purpose in order to get used to it and to embody it in this denser reality.
When you carry a high degree of vibration you need protection. That is why I have a guard in the life time of the Druids. That is why you are born into these different bodies with different protections and layering. The game is in the varying degrees of success by virtue of the choices we make to live out of those choices. No right or wrong. Pause and reflect when you make a choice. Breath.
It's our judgments that separate us from one another.
What if we were loved for just who we are and who we are not? Just loved.
(This is half of a past life regression where I was remembering being a healer taught & protected by the Druids 18 Feb 2009)
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
A Living Stream of Love
Many people are on the “Way” but narrow is the Path. That path leads to everlasting Joy!
You say many times, that you realize you need to detox and take care of your self. Yet when I offer it you get defensive and say things like “I am eating healthy.” I am not here to convince you of anything but to reveal it to your heart, who knows exactly what is needed. When you take care of needs over obligations everything is simple and easy. Just like when we were clear little children. Joy is an inherited state of Being. It is everywhere.
I am not here to tell you to do anything. Experience and realize for yourself and see what is needed. The only thing I get to do for myself is to beautify, to polish the stone of my Heart, so that in it you see your own reflection. In me you feel invited into a warm and welcoming space. Once you do, you’ve come home.
I am building a movement that shapes the hearts and minds of those who would have it. It is a Living Stream of Love. There is no doing of any kind but a taking up of daily rhythm and a doing what the heart loves. Rhythm, Ritual and prayer take us to the Land of Love, taking away, releasing, removing anything that stands in the way and distracts us from our Heart of Hearts.
Every thought and word is heard in the Mind of God. Clearing the debris out helps with clarity that enables a space to be filled with more of what we focus on. If you focus on chaos and artificial intelligence it’s what feeds you. It is extremely difficult to get away from. If you face Love you see your own Dear Reflection. It’s a simple choice of “Yes” or “No.” Either way you are going in that direction. No shame or blame. Eventually we all return to the Path We Originated on. It is our Soul’s Destiny. It is our Heart.
You say many times, that you realize you need to detox and take care of your self. Yet when I offer it you get defensive and say things like “I am eating healthy.” I am not here to convince you of anything but to reveal it to your heart, who knows exactly what is needed. When you take care of needs over obligations everything is simple and easy. Just like when we were clear little children. Joy is an inherited state of Being. It is everywhere.
I am not here to tell you to do anything. Experience and realize for yourself and see what is needed. The only thing I get to do for myself is to beautify, to polish the stone of my Heart, so that in it you see your own reflection. In me you feel invited into a warm and welcoming space. Once you do, you’ve come home.
I am building a movement that shapes the hearts and minds of those who would have it. It is a Living Stream of Love. There is no doing of any kind but a taking up of daily rhythm and a doing what the heart loves. Rhythm, Ritual and prayer take us to the Land of Love, taking away, releasing, removing anything that stands in the way and distracts us from our Heart of Hearts.
Every thought and word is heard in the Mind of God. Clearing the debris out helps with clarity that enables a space to be filled with more of what we focus on. If you focus on chaos and artificial intelligence it’s what feeds you. It is extremely difficult to get away from. If you face Love you see your own Dear Reflection. It’s a simple choice of “Yes” or “No.” Either way you are going in that direction. No shame or blame. Eventually we all return to the Path We Originated on. It is our Soul’s Destiny. It is our Heart.
Monday, January 19, 2009
The New year
The bigger vision is here. The love we hold for self and other. Appreciating and gratitude for the small things. Attention to detail. Keeping the mind calm and clear. Loving our selves and keeping the company of Angels.
This year is battening down that hatches of what works in the happiness sectors. Bumping them up and making sure that when the distraction and disappointments come, the sorrows and the fear arise, that we take them in and transmute them to love.
Important and necessary work for the time of turning: the cocoon opens and emerges butterflies of color and promise. Loving all of it and you.
Maryma
This year is battening down that hatches of what works in the happiness sectors. Bumping them up and making sure that when the distraction and disappointments come, the sorrows and the fear arise, that we take them in and transmute them to love.
Important and necessary work for the time of turning: the cocoon opens and emerges butterflies of color and promise. Loving all of it and you.
Maryma
Sunday, January 4, 2009
How is the Resistance Working For You?
One problem I have with the resistance movement is that resistance only creates more tension. It is letting go completely that we gain our freedom. I am not saying we give in. I am saying we tune into what's happening, use our intuition and engage it, and have some fun, as this thing is already planned out in our future minds. It's a Landmark Forum trick. Everything is planned from the place of its already having been realized. Education's great but then what?
I suggest we have a section dedicated to solution and having serious fun: link to people like Catherine Austin Fitz, Caroline Casey, Stuart Wilde etc. and get those at the top of their game step in and show us the way.
The governments or Powers That Be are waiting for us to come out in the open and oppose them. We get to be creative and do the unexpected. We truly want them on our team to make a major shift. We won't get there without them. They are only playing Devil to lead us to the light.
I really feel that in order to over come the obstacles, we get to learn the lesson they teach us, including resisting it. "Resist not evil" is the admonition. If there is no evil and there is no God then what are we talking about here? They made a mistake. We can only example a better way.
As long as you talk like this (resistence) then you are understandable to them and they can attack you (kill you, put you in jail as terrorists) so you only have a short term with this approach.
If you give this system something that is outside of their language, something they don't value, you become invisible to them. As you attract change more and more grow it and then you have what I call a "positive attractor" versus a resistant cell. You want to enlighten not stir up more fear.
So let's work on a "warm fuzzy" "Sugar versus vinegar" solutions and see opportunities instead of the Resident Evil we are so familiar with. It is in each one of us. We allow it.
Can we have a Solution Page?????
I suggest we have a section dedicated to solution and having serious fun: link to people like Catherine Austin Fitz, Caroline Casey, Stuart Wilde etc. and get those at the top of their game step in and show us the way.
The governments or Powers That Be are waiting for us to come out in the open and oppose them. We get to be creative and do the unexpected. We truly want them on our team to make a major shift. We won't get there without them. They are only playing Devil to lead us to the light.
I really feel that in order to over come the obstacles, we get to learn the lesson they teach us, including resisting it. "Resist not evil" is the admonition. If there is no evil and there is no God then what are we talking about here? They made a mistake. We can only example a better way.
As long as you talk like this (resistence) then you are understandable to them and they can attack you (kill you, put you in jail as terrorists) so you only have a short term with this approach.
If you give this system something that is outside of their language, something they don't value, you become invisible to them. As you attract change more and more grow it and then you have what I call a "positive attractor" versus a resistant cell. You want to enlighten not stir up more fear.
So let's work on a "warm fuzzy" "Sugar versus vinegar" solutions and see opportunities instead of the Resident Evil we are so familiar with. It is in each one of us. We allow it.
Can we have a Solution Page?????
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